I played Final Fantasy 7 for the first time a few months ago it was the remake and reincarnation not the original version. A few months ago I was evaluated for my neurodivergent autistic traits. It is a pretty good start.
How are these two things connected? Surprisingly, I noticed similarities to Cloud Strife's struggles. I do not mean the locked memoriesbwhich is a story for another time but I mean how Cloud deals with social emotions.
This is where I get really cool and mysterious: my whole life I have struggled with expressing emotions or even very basic social normalities. Not due to a lack of awareness; most of the time I know exactly what I should do in a social situation yet I can not do it. Forget what I said before, there's nothing interesting or mysterious about it. It is actually pretty frustrating, because the more I struggle to fit in the more it fights me.
Looking Back at Final Fantasy 7 Am I Right?
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I strive to express myself better, and that's something I will be working on for the rest of my life. That's fine. But one thing I realized during Cloud's journey is that when you surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you who want the best for you and who are saints in terms of patience and understanding something you cannot expect from others alone it becomes a lot easier. They have nothing to carry and it is still work on your part but it becomes something that lessens the burden you put on yourself.
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What's still funny to me (if that's the right word) is that, when I started my time with Final Fantasy 7 Remake. So I thought I was going to hate Cloud. He is a stoic, very nice to everyone and only thinks about himself. But as I spent time with him learning his vulnerabilities his reasoning as I really got to know him I started to see the same things I see in terms of expression.
Does this mean that people see me as a bigot who thinks he is too nice to everyone and too selfish? I know that was true before and it makes more sense to me now. Where you might think Cloud is ruthless, dishonest, and stone cold he is not. He is a just like me. That realization has been the most amazing moment I've ever had in a game.
Cloud has a lot more humanity than I thought
That's a really unclear way to say how I feel about the character. So I spent 150 hours playing Cloud and there are many moments where I really felt his character development. Not in the big battles or the heroic bravery or the world-shaking moments but in the moments when he cares, he smiles, or when he struggles to speak his mind. Especially that last part.
When Cloud does not understand Aerith's high five signal? Yeah I think so. When Cloud can't take a compliment and says something awkward or weird? Same here, man. When Cloud says literally nothing to Marlene and she runs off and Barret gets mad at Cloud for scaring him? See, Barret, I am not good with kids even when their social skills are far more developed than mine.
Right now I am struggling to describe what's going on in my mind. Maybe I am still trying to figure it out. Needless to say Final Fantasy 7 quickly became special to me. This was a game I'd been wanting to play for years as it is one of the great games but I ended up connecting to it and its eco-terrorist protagonist more than I ever thought possible.
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